Roadblocks to Happiness-Not Being Yourself

I haven't done a Roadblocks to happiness post in awhile. These posts often end up on the back burner because they are hard to write and even harder to share. They are also incredibly time consuming because they require a lot more self reflection than my usual posts. But that's the whole point of this exercise, right? Reflecting on the things that make me unhappy, and figuring out how to change them in order to be a happier, more relaxed, and fulfilled person.

Today I'm going to focus on the second item on the list of 30 Things to Stop Doing Now

that I shared in my first Roadblocks post, that spoke to me:

5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

When I first read the "30 list" I thought this statement didn't apply to me, unlike most of the statements on the list. But then one of my coworkers said something to me a couple of months ago that really hit me. During a slow day at work we were both talking about our first couple of months on the unit when she said "I can't get over how different you are now compared to when you first started here. It's like you are a totally different person." I was shocked! Hadn't I always been me from day one? But as we talked more I realized what she meant and also realized what other people must think about me when they first meet me.

You see, when I don't know people well, am in a new situation, or feel intimidated, I become painfully shy. I am so shy that I almost come off as standoffish and stuck up. But as time goes on, and I get more comfortable with people or a particular person, I get much more outgoing and talkative. As I get even more comfortable with people, like I am now with my coworkers after 3 year at this job or with my closest friends, I DO NOT shut up. I get so outgoing that I talk non stop, rarely think before I speak, share everything on my mind, and have a blast with the people I'm around.

The problem is, there are very few people who I feel like I act like my true goofy and loud self around. And with those people it often takes months or even years for me to get to that point. As a result, I fear that many people are turned off by me right away, because who really wants to invest the time in getting to know a quiet and often standoffish girl?!? I also fear that my shyness prohibits me from meeting amazing new people who would fit perfectly in the inner circle of people I feel I can be myself around.

I could wish all day long that I could be more outgoing with new people and in new situations but that would not change a thing. What I really need to do is figure out why I am so shy with new people in order to change my behavior. I think it really boils down to the fact that I'm a perfectionist. I absolutely hate to make mistakes. Most of all, I hate to make mistakes with people. I'm terrified of them judging me. So I think instead of taking the risk of saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing, I often stand back and don't talk at all. Somehow I have the erroneous idea that people will judge me and not like me if I don't say or do the perfect thing. Or, more importantly, I'm scared of saying the imperfect thing. But in reality, these people are probably judging me more for not being friendly and instead appearing shy and standoffish.

I really want to work on this and work on being more outgoing with newish people and thus, be more of myself around these people. Because I really am most myself around VABeau, our families, and our close friends. And I think (at least I hope) all of those people enjoy me and like me for who I am (even if she is loud, awkward, sometimes inappropriate, judgmental at times, goofy, and beyond talkative after a glass of wine). So it's time that I show the rest of the world that side, the real side, of this girl. I just need to relax, not agonize over everything I'm going to say, and stop expecting perfection. My new mantra when meeting new people or in a new situation should no longer be sit back and be as quiet as possible. Instead it is to not take myself so seriously, put aside my ridiculous expectations for conversations, enjoy the moment and the conversation while it's happening, and just have fun and enjoy the people around me. If only this mantra were an easy one to follow...

It doesn't end there. I also want to leave these new encounters/conversations and not replay what I said, how they reacted, etc. over and over again. I no longer want to agonize over how the conversation or encounter went because it's pretty darn exhausting to pick apart every conversation to look for my flaws. Instead I want to have the outlook that if a particular person or people liked me and I liked them-that's fantastic!

If not-then there will always be other new people and situations in the future and I never know how they will go or who I will meet until I try!

This is a pretty great mantra too:

Anyone else struggle with being their true self? Any other shy people out there? What's your mantra for social situations?

Easter Wreath DIY

I don't know what has gotten into me but I have been a wreath making fool lately. I shared my hydrangea wreath last week and while I absolutely love it, I wanted to make a special Easter wreath for the weeks leading up to the holiday. Once Easter passes, the hydrangea (my favorite of all the DIY wreaths I've made so far) will be back in it's rightful place on our front door.

With this wreath I wanted to try moss since I've seen so many great DIY projects with the green stuff lately. I also wanted to incorporate eggs into the wreath but didn't want to use super bright, Easter egg hunt, type eggs.

Once again, Michael's was my first stop for my wreath making essentials. I started with:

-My trusty hot glue gun and glue sticks(I've been using this baby so much lately I think it may be time to upgrade to the full size version)

-A small straw wreath

-2 spools of moss

-Pastel Easter Eggs(I fell in love with these eggs and their perfectly pastel colors right away)

-A spool of burlap

I started by cutting the moss into smaller sections and hot gluing it to the wreath. I quickly realized that I did not have enough moss to cover the whole wreath. I should have stopped at this point, made another trip to Michael's, and resumed the wreath making at a later date. But I was in a pretty inpatient mood and insisted on powering through without the moss I needed. So I ended up only covering one side of the wreath instead of covering the whole thing in moss. I figured no one would know once it's hanging up. I also recommend doing this part on newspaper because I had green stuff EVERYWHERE by the time I was done.

I then started to apply the eggs at random to the moss with the hot glue. Now that I look at the final product, I may have gone a little crazy with the eggs. I think the wreath would look better with a few less eggs but it's too late to change it, that hot glue is now set in stone.

Finally, I cut a long piece of the burlap, wrapped it around the top of the wreath, tied a knot, and then a bow for hanging purposes.

And voila

The finished product!

I'm pretty happy with the wreath when I see it from afar. It's subtle but still says Easter when you see it.

But it is definitely not my best work. It may be, in fact, my worst. I rushed through the creation of this wreath and as a result, it shows. Especially when you see it up close:

It's incredibly hard for me to share this close up of the wreath but in the interest of honest blogging and full disclosure I am. No one's perfect, right?!?!

In retrospect I should have taken a break and gotten more moss. I also should have been more methodical with my egg placement and been a little less aggressive with the glue.

Lesson learned-I am not capable of making two wreaths in one day without getting burned out. I still recommend giving this project a try if you're interested. Just buy more moss and devote a bit more time to your wreath making and it will look perfect!

On the bright side, the wreath looks great to people walking and driving by. Unless you put your face right up to it, I think you would be impressed by my Easter wreath. So it's staying for now and will probably make an appearance for many years to come!

It's also starting to look like Easter in a few other parts of our home...

Which means I am closer and closer to getting to eat dessert again. Yessssss!

Speaking of Michael's and my many trips there lately, has anyone else seen this amazing image floating around Pinterest? It may be my favorite Ryan Gosling "Hey Girl" yet!

I only wish my husband felt the same way.....

Running Essesntials

I started running regularly in November of 2009. Two and a half years, 9 races, and more training runs than I can count later I truly feel like a "runner." It's probably my number one hobby in life. Rarely do I let more than 3 days pass without a run. In fact, usually everyday that I'm not working a 12 hour shift, I'm squeezing in a run. I am now to the point in my life where I feel a little "off" if I haven't run in awhile. I'm almost antsy without my daily run. My runs are truly "my" time where I am alone with my thoughts. My runs are also very therapeutic. If I'm stressed or upset or angry a run usually makes me saner and more ready to deal with life and my day. I haven't always had this great relationship with running. When I started out I dreaded each and every run. It practically took a miracle to get me out the door each day. But I persevered and gradually increased from daily runs ranging from 1-3 miles at most to currently doing 4-8mile runs on a daily basis. I have learned a lot along my road to becoming a runner and have become religiously devoted to many running products over the years. Today I want to share with you all my running necessities. Lets start with the beginning of each run....

Running Ahead

This website is a runners dream! A lot of runners use the MapMyRun app to track there mileage while they run. But I prefer the Running Ahead website because it requires me to map out my run before I go. I feel like mapping out my run and knowing the distance ahead of time keeps me accountable to get in all of the miles for that particular run. When I return from a run, I record my run time for the route I ran and the website automatically calculates my pace. It also allows me to record the weather, how the run felt, my weight, etc. for each run. It also has a widget that I display on the right side of my blog. It shows my weekly, monthly, and yearly mileage all in one place.

Road ID

One of the most important aspects of running is safety. VABeau got me my first RunningID this past Christmas and it is THE BEST gift for any runner you love. He included my name, his and my Dad's phone numbers, my blood type, allergies, and an inspirational message on the tag. They have all types of ways to wear the IDs but I prefer the shoe tag because I leave it on my laces and thus, never leave home without it!

Good Shoes

Running has to be the cheapest sport out there because the only equipment you really need are running shoes. So you better make sure you invest in good shoes. I worked in a fantastic running store in college where I learned a ton about running gaits and shoes. The number one cause of injuries from running come from wearing the wrong shoe or worn out shoes. It is totally necessary to get fitted with the right shoes before you start running. Local running stores and some chains (Road Runner Sports, Pacers, etc.) are great options. Just make sure that you take your current running shoes (if any) to the store when you buy new shoes. A good running store should watch you walk and run barefoot and in your old shoes before they prescribe the right shoe for you. This analysis helps them determine if you pronate and need a supportive shoe or if you have a neutral gait and can wear a cushioned shoe.

It is also incredibly important to buy new shoes regularly. Typically running shoes are good for 300-500 miles depending on your weight and running style. I usually end up getting new shoes every 6 months or so and my knees are usually what end up reminding me to replace them. So listen to your body!

Good Socks

Asics

Blisters suck. They hurt, look nasty, and can limit which shoes you can wear. The number one way to prevent blisters is to wear the right kind of socks. Try to stay away from cotton and stick to wicking materials. Wool has recently become pretty popular in running stores.

Body Glide

Without going into too much detail, chafing is often an issue, especially with longer runs, for most runners. I mainly have issues with the bands of my sports bras and BodyGlide has been a lifesaver!

Head Bands

I've shared on numerous occasions the necessity of head bands for me while running.

My favorite running head bands have to be Sweaty Bands. They stay in place throughout even my longest runs and there are so many cute colors and designs to choose from. My current favorite is their glitter band that I wore for my latest half marathon.

Lululemon

My second favorite head band is this lululemon version. It's adjustable so it stays on pretty well during runs.

Running Clothes

I don't have a ton of running clothes but I do have a few necessities which include:

Skirts

Lululemon

My newest running obsession! A must try for Summer running!

Shorts

Tights

A must have for Winter. I have one good pair of full length tights and two pairs of capri tights

Wicking Tanks and Tees

Long Sleeve pull overs

For those really cold mid-Winter runs

Watch

Timex Ironman Sleek

I have been running with Timex Ironmans since day one and love them. They do all of the basics and record my running time with ease.

Garmin Heart Rate Monitor

But I am very tempted to give the GPS versions a try so that I can know my official pace as I run. Any recommendations? Are they worth it?

Music

IpodShuffle

A run without music is pretty miserable if you ask me. So I rarely leave home without my shuffle. I love it because it weighs barely nothing and holds just enough songs to keep me from getting bored during long runs.

The Stick

This tiny tool has been a lifesaver for my IT Band. I roll it over my sore and stiff muscles right after my runs and often the next day. I'm horrible about stretching so my Stick does it for me!

Motivation

Pinterest is packed full of running motivation for those days when you are struggling to lace up your shoes and go for that run...

So that's my long list of Running essentials. If you have any specific questions let me know and if you have any running equipment that you recommend please share

Menu Monday

Monday

*Guinness Meatloaf

*Garlic Mashed Potatoes

*String Beans

VABeau was determined to incorporate our leftover St Patrick's day beers into a meal. One long Internet search later we had the perfect Guinness meatloaf recipe. The recipe (at the end of the post) required a decent chunk of time to prep and bake and also produced one huge loaf of meat. But it ended up being delicious and the perfect comfort meal when paired with homemade mashed potatoes and string beans. The Guinness and cheddar definitely gave the meat loaf a unique flavor. It was delicious and we immediately decided that this meal must be made every St Patrick's day, preferably for a group so that we aren't stuck with such an excessive amount of meat loaf for 2 people!

Tuesday

*Pistachio Goat Cheese Salad

*Ad Hoc Grilled Cheese

*Soup

With the unseasonably warm weather we're having our deck is getting a lot of action very early this Spring. So we decided to celebrate the official start of Spring and the 70 degree temperatures with the perfect Spring meal on our deck. VABeau heated up some soup we had on hand while I made grilled cheese from our "cookbook challenge" cookbook, and threw together this delicious salad. The grilled cheese and salad were delicious and I have a feeling pistachio crusted goat cheese will make an appearance in many of our Spring/Summer salads in the future.

The first day of Spring also called for our first happy hour on the deck before dinner!

Wednesday

*Meatloaf

*Mashed Potatoes

*Pistachio Goat Cheese Salad

Thursday

*Spicy Shrimp Linguine

*Salad

This shrimp linguine will definitely be repeated in our home. It was ridiculously easy to prepare and was flavorful and delicious. So delicious that my plate ended up being cleared before I had a chance to photograph it so the Cooking Light picture will have to do!

Friday

*Clare and Dons

We had happy hour at our favorite beach bar so there was no cooking in our house that night. Clare and Dons is our favorite spot for drinks outdoors and live beach music on Friday nights. An evening there never disappoints!

Guinness Meatloaf

• 2 Tbs. plus 1 tsp. canola or olive oil
• 1 medium yellow onion, chopped
• 1/2 cup diced carrots
• 1/2 cup diced celery
• 2 large cloves garlic, finely chopped
• 3/4 cup stout beer (we used Guinness)
• 4 oz. medium-coarse white bread cut into 2-inch pieces (about 2-1/2 cups)
• 1 cup whole milk
• 1 lb. ground beef
• 1 lb. ground veal
• 2 large eggs
• 1/2 cup grated Cheddar
• 1/4 cup mushrooms
• 1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley
• 1 Tbs. Worcestershire sauce
• Kosher Salt
• Freshly ground black pepper
• 10 oz. sliced bacon (about 9 strips)

Preheat oven to 375. Heat 2 Tbs. of the oil in a 10- to 12-inch skillet over medium-low heat. Cook the onion, carrots, celery, and garlic, stirring frequently, until softened and just beginning to brown, 6 to 8 minutes.

Add the stout, and simmer briskly, until almost dry, 4 to 5 minutes. Transfer to a large bowl and let cool until warm.

In a shallow dish that holds it in a single layer, soak the bread in the milk, flipping once, until soggy but not falling apart, 5 to 10 minutes, depending on the coarseness and freshness of the bread. Lightly squeeze a handful of bread at a time to remove some of the milk (it should be wet but not drenched). Finely chop and add to the bowl with the vegetable mixture.

Add the beef, veal and eggs to the onion mixture. Scatter the Cheddar, mushrooms, and parsley over the meat, and then sprinkle with the Worcestershire, 2-1/4 tsp. salt, and 1/2 tsp. pepper. Use your hands to gently mix all the ingredients until just combined; try not to compact the mixture as you do this.

Line a 9x13-inch baking pan with parchment paper. Transfer the meatloaf mixture to the baking pan and form into a 10x4-inch rectangular block (it becomes loaf-shaped as it cooks). Finish the meatloaf by draping it with slightly overlapping strips of bacon, tucking the ends under the loaf.

Bake until an instant-read thermometer registers 160°F in the center of the meatloaf, 40 to 55 minutes.

Broil the meatloaf about 6 inches from the broiler element until the bacon is brown and crisped, about 3 minutes. Let rest for 10 minutes. Transfer to a cutting board or serving platter with a large spatula and cut into 3/4- to 1-inch-thick slices.

Yum! Bacon really makes everything better...

Happiness Is...

1/2 Marathon Success

There really is no better feeling than completing a race that you spent months training for. Crossing the finish line of any race gives me such a high that I can't wait to do it again. It's almost like the excitement from my race finish helps me forget those torturous miles leading up to the finish line. My Rock n Roll 1/2 marathon experience less than a week ago has me beyond excited for all of the shorter Spring and Summer races coming up. If you're struggling to keep motivated to run, sign up for a race of any distance asap. The whole experience is sure to keep you motivated to run or even addicted to running!

A New Wine Fridge

I was like a little kid on Christmas morning when VABeau brought home this beauty two weeks ago. Being such big wine drinkers, I feel like it was a crime for us to not have a wine fridge to store all of our wine in. After months of research VABeau finally selected the perfect fridge for us. It holds all of our cellar wines in the bottom, along with keeping our reds lightly chilled and our whites that perfect cool temperature. My favorite part of life with our wine fridge is that our white wines are always ready to drink. We no longer have to throw a bottle in the freezer to quickly chill it before opening.

We filled the fridge immediately with our wine collection so I'd say this purchase was a necessity for us ;)

Coral Jeans

Mint jeans have been at the top of my Spring clothes wish list for months. But thanks to the always perfectly styled, Duchess Kate, I am now obsessed with coral/tangerine jeans. I've found several much more affordable versions of these jeans at Zara, H&M, and Urban Outfitters but now I'm completely torn, do I go with the mint shade or mimic the perfectly polished Kate and go coral? Who else is loving the colored denim trend?

Afternoons on the Deck

My favorite time of the year has to be when it first gets warm enough to spend time on our deck. I just never expected that time to come this early in the year! Still, we're taking full advantage of this amazing Spring/Summer weather by spending more of our evenings sharing a bottle of wine or eating dinner on our deck. Our TV has been almost completely ignored lately which is fine by me! I'll take some time in the outdoors over couch time any day!

Running Skirts

I never thought of myself as a running skirt kind of girl. Shorts and/or tights always seemed to work just fine for me. But after seeing so many cute running skirts during a race I did last Fall I decided to give the running skirt a try.

After trying on many different types and brands of skirts I settled on the LuluLemon Chase Me Skirt. It is perfect and I am officially on the running skirt bandwagon. My favorite part of the skirt is that it has hidden spandex shorts built in which help prevent any chafing. I absolutely loved the chase me skirt because it has multiple ways to wear it. I can wear it like the first picture or tighten a few draw strings to reveal more of a pleated skirt. I wore the skirt for my 1/2 marathon last Saturday and it was ridiculously comfortable for all 13.1 miles. If you haven't tried out running skirts, definitely give them a try!

My Supportive Husband

I can't talk about my 1/2 marathon without mentioning my number one fan. VABeau is the best spectator ever. Maybe it comes from growing up with two runners as parents or maybe he just knows how important these races are to me. But he was there with me, waking up at 6 am on a Saturday, to drive me to the race. He even brought his bike along and biked to multiple spots on the race course before meeting me at the finish. He has no idea how much just knowing he was waiting for me at mile 11 made me push myself through the tough hills in the middle of the race. His loud cheering also helped me pick up my pace in the last two miles even though all I wanted to do was walk. I am one lucky lady to have such a selfless and supportive husband.

Real Life Blogging Friends

One of my favorite ladies in real life just started a blog, Champagne & Mason Jars! Mariel has been a reader of this blog since it's start and has always been beyond supportive of me and my blogging so I am so excited to introduce you all to her fabulous blog. She is newly engaged and lives in Charlottes with her fiancé, Connor. Knowing Mariel, her blog will be chocked full of gorgeous wedding and entertaining inspiration, delicious recipes, and beautiful clothes, jewelry, and decor. Check out her blog and follow her, you won't be disappointed! How perfect is her blog's name by the way? I'm obsessed with it!

What's making you happy today?